The Hunt for True Love

Love is really the thing isn’t it? I mean it was the thing back in biblical times, it was the thing back in the 18th century and it’s still the thing now. It’s what consumes so much of our money, time and emotional resources. We search for it. Fight for it. Live for it. Die for it. True Love. You’re kind of kidding yourself if you aren’t interested in it.

As a single Christian female, the hunt for true love is unique. In fact it’s basically the opposite to how those outside the Christian worldview search for love. We aren’t in a position where we can try, try and try again. Trial and error gives us a bad reputation.

It’s a really fine line between knowing what you want and writing down those all important characteristics and then allowing yourself to be flexible, open and acknowledging that sometimes God knows what we need better than we do.

Throw into the mix the whole confusing concept of God’s timing, your life’s calling and the slowly diminishing number of Christian males on the market, and girls begin to panic. We start lowering our standards, we stop letting guys make the first move due to fear of being alone and we push push push.

But I mean really? What’s a girl to do?

Evidently, girls don’t know what to do. They don’t know when to be bold and when to hold back. They don’t know when something’s right and when something’s wrong. They fall for the worst kinds of men and then wonder why they are unhappy and alone again. In fact, most of the time they just wonder why they are alone. What’s wrong with me? Am I not pretty enough? Is my heart too broken? Do I cry too much? Am I too outspoken? Casey Chambers anyone?

If you kept reading this post thinking that I’d have all the answers, then I’ll be honest like I always am and tell you right now that I don’t. I think people would assume I have it figured out.. so many of my friends are all married and settled and I seem pretty content so I should know right? Sorry ladies. I’m also in the dark.. BUT.. despite the fact that my last relationship was so long ago that I actually forget how old I was.. I know quite a lot about the Hunt for True Love.

I remember when I met my true love. I remember falling in love. I remember specific moments and I remember specific seasons. I remember bad times but mostly I remember good times. My true love makes me laugh, cry and fall on the floor so grateful for how much He loves me.

Oh I know it’s cliché.. Fall I love with Jesus and all your problems will be sorted? Really Steff? That’s your answer. Thanks for the help.

I don’t want to offend anyone, but if that answer wasn’t a good enough answer for you – then I’d hazard a guess that your quest for true love is unfulfilled.

I’m so rarely lonely. I’m so rarely confused or frustrated or concerned about timeframes. And that’s not because I’m overly confident, or I have a healthy relationship with my Dad or just because I’m busy and my life is naturally fulfilling. Trust me, I could choose to be unhappy and scared and alone. But I’m just not. I made a choice that God was enough. It doesn’t always feel like that, but I always know that He is.

Actually, maybe I do have it figured out. Isn’t that the goal? To really be in love with Jesus and to never live life afraid of being alone. I think God actually cries when His daughters feel alone. You are NEVER alone and you are NEVER far from His thoughts.

Pure truth.

Life Lessons from Logan Huntzberger

Yesterday I posted a facebook status about the effect Logan Huntzberger (one of Rory Gilmore, of the TV Show Gilmore Girls love interests) has had on my perception and opinion of men. The response was interesting and as we all know social networking is the key to knowing what people currently care about. I thought I would explore the thought further.

I’m going to be very honest and say that I love fiction. I love fictional novels, I love fictional tv shows, movies, theatre. I LOVE fiction. I love the ability it has to draw you into a different world, similar to ours, or completely surreal and the ability it has to provoke our imagination. I also think, it’s a very very dangerous thing to become enamoured with.

Logan Huntzberger has many great qualities. He’s extremely well spoken (a killer vocabularly is very important to me), well read, charming, intelligent, rich, sweet, adventurous and good looking. He is however, quite a bit of a jerk. He’s rebellious, lazy, a lady killer (not literally), entitled, thinks ‘frienefits’ is a good option, has commitment issues plus probably a lot of other attributes that I choose to overlook. And therein, lies my point. I choose to overlook, qualities that are harmful for the sake of what appears to be something better. It’s that whole ‘bad boy’ thing that girls seem to be interested. We see it sort of work out in Hollywood, girls that somehow manage to tame their bad boys while still keeping that element of danger we fell in love with in the first place. It’s actually a really harmful flaw that if we’re actually being honest, most of us can relate to.

Sure, we definitely look at that screen and think to ourselves ‘This kind of guy is probably really very harmful for Rory’. Do we ship the relationship? Of course. If you’re not a Lory shipper than your a Jess and Rory (which I’m guessing is Ress or Jory or something like that) which is truly just as bad. Does anyone really ship Dean and Rory? The eternal good guy (let’s exclude end of Season 4 and beginning of Season 5). I’ve never met a massive Dean fan. And I’m not really sure why? I put it down to the fact that girls have had their opinion of men tainted from fiction.

When amazingly lovely, sweet gentleman knock on our front doors, we turn them away because we are secretly hoping Mr Bad Boy climbs through the window later on, despite his lack of good manners, commitment and their negligent treatment of our hearts. Sure, I found it super hot when Logan climbed through the window at Rory’s – despite the fact she’d just turned down Marty (A-Typical Sweetheart).WHY? What is wrong with women?!

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m a MASSIVE Gilmore Girls fan and a big Logan lover. But I don’t necessarily think it’s the healthiest thing to dwell or to want in my life.

So thank you Logan Huntzberger for the life lesson. You’re amazing on screen – but I’m a good girl and as such, looking for a good boy.

Logan Huntzberger – Gilmore Girls

Logan: It’ll be fun, it’ll be a thrill. Something stupid, something bad for you. Just something different. Isn’t this the point of being young? It’s your choice, Ace. People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me, it’s one less minute you haven’t lived.

Photo Courtesy of oy with the proodles already.

University..

Hi all,

I am currently in my second of six years at University. And I have a confession to make. I have touched my uni at all this semester. I mean really, I should know better, I’ve been caught with weeks of uni work to complete, and then study for, all in the 12 hrs before an exam. I’ve seen the difference between my uni marks with preparation and without preparation. And I definitely need the preparation. So why is it that I haven’t started this year’s work and I’m already 3 weeks behind? Why do we do things that we inherently know are bad for us? Why do we still choose to do them.. it’s more than just uni procrastination, more than just laziness. I think this kind of thing can be found all throughout everyone’s lives. Not just their studies, although this is a prime example. We chase after relationships that are bad for us, we eat lots and lots of fast food and don’t exercise, we speed, we neglect reading the bible.. whatever it is. We know it’s bad, and in the end will lead to our demise – yet we do it anyway? Are we just.. bad people.. who always make bad choices. I think that’s probably actually the case.

What’s that verse about wanting to do good, yet always doing the opposite. Oh yeah, I found it.

 

Romans 7: 18-20 ‘For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it’. 

 

Just an not so biblical thought that turned into one.

New.

Well. Welcome Steffany.

I have very mixed emotions about this new blog. I think blogs are very similar to relationships. And essentially — I feel like I’ve just broken up with someone. So I am sad to let something (blogger) go that I have been faithful (mostly) to for nearly 3 years. But I am also excited.. for I feel I may have given up on the last relationship for a new and better one.

At least I hope so.

Au revoir!

Steffany.