2012. This year I really want to shake it up.
I’m not really sure what that means, all I know is, that I want to do it. I want this year to be different from last year, and if at all possible, I want it to be different than all the years before.
So many people have asked me what 2012 has in store for Steffany Willis (they probably just say Steff, but Steffany Willis sounds more pro) and I’ve come back at them with a ‘much of the same really’. I was content to reply with that, but the more times I said it, I thought.. is that really what I want? Do I want ‘more of the same’?
It isn’t really what I want.
Nobody really wants each of the years that God gives them here on this earth to be exactly the same as the year before, do they? I think people crave stability in their life, but they get that confused and then they become stationery. I want to move forward, do different things. Last year I got a small taste of what life can be like if you open yourself up to new people and new experiences.. and it was amazing.
This year will hold so many of the same things that 2011 did. I dont’ want to change who I am or ditch my life completely. I will most likely, still have this job at the end of the year. I have another year of university to complete. I want to have all the same friends I had last year. But – I want to come to work everyday with a good attitude, I want to put some effort into my study and I want my friendships to be deeper, sweeter and I want more of them.
What else do I want?
Oh if I could only express to you the kind of life I want to live. I get scared when I think about all that life holds. My stomach just flip flopped right then and there because I finally realise how much of my life there is left to live. If you had have asked me a year ago what I thought of my life, I would have told you that it was good and I would have meant it. But I know that I felt old. I felt like my best days were possibly had and I felt tired and lethargic ALL the time. So in lieu of New Years Resolutions, this year I’m just aiming to have a life that I want. And that other people would want.
I’m starting to figure out what I really want.
I want beautiful stories to read and to lose myself in.
I want to be swept off my feet. I think that could happen in so many different ways.
I want to dream dreams so big and wonderful that I wake up with tears in my eyes.
I want to laugh til it hurts. I want to laugh so much that maybe exercise isn’t necessary.
I want to drink the best coffee I’ve ever had and to eat the best meal of my life.
I want to dance. A lot.
I want all my relationships to grow deeper. With God, with friends, with others.
I want promotions. I want opportunities. I want financial freedom. I want sensational reviews. I want a career to develop out of my current workplace.
I want to feel creatively stimulated and to have my skills and assets actually used. I want to be reminded over and over again that Administration isn’t my calling.
I want to feel loved and I want to give love. I want to be someone who is quick to ‘fall’ for people. I’ve never been so unafraid to love people.
I want new clothes. And shoes. I really do.
I want to record 2012. In words, in pictures, on this blog. In 2022 I want to be able to remember what this year was like. I want to read the words I’ve written and remember the way I felt. I want to look at the pictures I took this year and appreciate all this year held.
I want this year to be significant. I want to be significant. And I’ll do what needs to be done to make that happen.
STOP living your life how you think it should be lived, how it has to be lived or how it’s always been lived. START living your life as if someone will read your autobiography when you die. JUST START LIVING.