Hanging by a moment.

Life, to me, is a series moments all flung together. I made it my personal goal at the beginning of the year to relish and enjoy each and every moment. The good ones and the bad ones. To stop and take stock of moments.

I think it’s ridiculous what can happen in a moment. A car accident. When your heart skips a beat. A fall. That look. Things that just happen, that come out of nowhere and catch you by surprise.

But so often moments don’t just arrive out of thin air – they are in fact, many many moments all strung together that normally culminate in a decision, a move towards something, a wrong choice, a good choice. I find myself dictating my life by moments. I find myself making decisions based on the moment and in the moment. ‘Oh he looked at me like this, I think I’ll make this stupid decision’ ‘I feel this way, so I will act this way’. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve done something or said something that took me 2 seconds to decide on – and then I spend the next 2 hours wondering why I ever thought impulse was a helpful decision making tool.

I’m adding to my list of personal goals – that while I will live in and enjoy the moment, I won’t be dictated by it. That mistake I made yesterday, I can’t say I was completely caught up in the moment, because I know a bunch of other ‘moments’ led to that point. I won’t use moments as an excuse.

I believe in our generation. I believe we are the future and that we bring something unique to this world. However we’re terrible at moments. We’re all about impulse living and living reactional lives. We don’t think through what we say or what we do and when we make mistakes we’re not very good at admitting it was probably our fault. We live for the fun of living and damn those consquences – in the moment, it was the right decision – who cares if we regret it in the morning?!

Maybe I don’t want to stop living in the moment – but I want to become good at it. I wonder if you can train yourself to make good decisions in the moment? I think you probably can.

I want to stop and be grateful in the moment. I want to realise the significance of certain moments. I want to stop and realise in the moment, how blissfully happy I am. I want to take opportunities when the moment arrives. I want my moments to have meaning and purpose. I want to laugh and cry because in the moment, that joke was so funny. I want to squeeze each moment I have here on this earth and get everything out of it that I can.

When I’m in the moment, I won’t waste it.

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