My life is busy. Any moment of relaxation or nothing is a forced attempt and something else is suffering because of my relaxation. I’m not saying my life isn’t good, or that it isn’t filled with crazy amazing moments of goodness, because it is good and it definitely has those moments where I’m blown away by life. I am however saying, that because of this busyness, because of the large amount of things I’ve decided to try and achieve at once, that most of my moments, are just hard work. Most of my life is just me at my full time job, pulling overtime, pulling my hair out over a dull career choice. Most of my life is me saying no to weekends of fun and yes to weekends of essays and university readings. Most of my life is going to meetings, groups, serving on teams instead of nights in front of the television. I don’t even own a television.
So I’ll confess, sometimes I find it hard to find meaning in all the chaos.
Sure, some days are overflowing with meaning and value and that gratifying feeling of knowing you are in the right place at the right time. But most days, are just days. Most days are just an average work day, filled with an average night of study and sleep. I think my generation struggle with this type of life. We’ve been encouraged to “Make everyday count” and I could find you endless beautiful typography style inspiration to encourage us to make the most out of each and every day. The inspiration is there, the desire is there but I confess that upwards of 60% of my days feel like a bit of nothing.
Have you ever felt like this? Do you ever arrive at the end of your day and think.. What did I achieve today? What did I really do today that mattered?
I don’t mean in this in a really depressive kind of way. I’m not depressed and I’m not speaking to those who are as I really have no experience in what that feels like. I’m just addressing that feeling that perhaps we all experience where sometimes, life feels a little mediocre.
Sometimes you just need an attitude adjustment. [Suck it up princess, life isn’t always perfect you know.] Sometimes you actually need a career change, and this feeling you get is actually 100% of the time and it’s your cue to make that move you’ve been too scared to make. [Go on, just do it!]
But for some, for me. It’s more than an attitude shift. It’s actually a lifestyle shift. Sometimes my days will provide meaning for me, so often they do. A kind word someone said to me, a good achievement at work, a fun night out with friends, getting a great mark back on a uni assignment. But sometimes, the days were just hard work days and long uni nights and that’s when I have to make a choice.
Do I write this day off as a waste? Did I fail in making this day count in the equation that is Steffany’s life?
Or do I make today count for someone else? Do I share a kind word with someone I haven’t seen in a while> Do I help someone out at work even when I’m under the pump? Do I pay for the petrol of the person behind me in the line?
Sometimes my life isn’t amazing, or awe-inspiring, or 50+ likes on instagram worth sharing. But I could make it so for someone else. I could make today count for them. And so could you.