Irrepressible

Alliteration is probably one of my most favourite things. I unintentionally frame sentences together using unhealthy amounts of alliteration. A little while ago on this very blog I came up with a list of the ten qualities I most wanted in a man entitled, My Top Ten. All of the qualities start with the letter A. I’ll probably want to marry someone with a last name that starts with the letter S and name my kids Sufjan and Stella such is my fascination with alliteration. When I was thinking through this blog and where I wanted to take it, I spent a lot of time dwelling on, myself really. I thought about who I wanted to be and what I wanted to be known for and how I wanted this blog to represent that. I came up with three words, all starting with the letter I. Irrepressible, Intentional and Immovable.

I remember the first time I heard the word irrepressible. I don’t remember what I was doing or what I was wearing but I remember the feeling. You know you’re a word nerd when you remember how you felt the first time you heard a word. I liked how it sounded. How it rolled off the tongue. I liked the context it was used in, I liked that I didn’t know what it meant and maybe others didn’t either. I remember thinking, ‘I’m going to use that word more often’. Just like psychedelic, that word definitely needs to come back.

IRREPRESSIBLE
impossible to repress, restrain, or control <irrepressible curiosity>

I remember the first time someone described me, Steffany, as irrepressible. I think at the time I wondered if they meant it as a compliment or a bit of insult. It’s sort of one of those words like infamous, where it just confuses you a bit. Does infamous mean more famous or less? Is being irrepressible a negative quality or a positive quality?

After much thought and processing, I’ve realised that Irrepressible is a quality I want to be known for.

I’ve always been a strong person. I think I grew up naturally irrepressible. There wasn’t a lot about my personality that could be repressed. I found restraint difficult and my parents would definitely attest that I was impossible to control. But somehow, over time.. those things faded, at least internally. I think I always conveyed myself as a strong, tough, secure person but inside I was battling. I felt that I had to repress certain parts of my personality. The parts people maybe didn’t like. I got sick of being told to use my “inside voice” and I started to repress. It wasn’t who I was naturally – but I somehow learnt repression.

In psychiatry they explain repression as the unconscious exclusion of painful impulses, desires, or fears from the conscious mind. For me it was just the exclusion of desires due to fear. That feeling or emotion I wanted to express but for whatever reason, society, past disappointment, criticism, peer pressure – I held it within.

I think with anything that you repress, it comes out in weird ways. If you repress anger, it comes out in unhealthy ways, bouts of rage that seem to come from nowhere. I think it’s the same if you repress your personality, the very things that make you, you. You start to get weird outbursts of uncharacteristic behaviour. You find yourself saying things you don’t really mean, making friendships that aren’t really wise, and living a life entirely different to what you know. A life very far from where God wants us to be.

Our world is slowly but ever so surely moving away from genuine, authentic, real relationships yet I have discovered – that is exactly what people want. We can smell a fake a mile off and we want nothing to do with it. Yet for some reason – we repress the very natural, unique characteristics that make us beautiful. What good does that do anyone?

We need you.
I need you.
God needs you.
YOU.

Stripped away of my fear and removed from critiquing eyes, I am at my most comfortable and my most crazy. I am loud and loopy and loving. That’s the thing that confused me most. Somehow I let society dictate to me that I couldn’t be loud, passionate, strong, and wild and so I gave up irrepressibility – along with it, I somehow gave up the ability to love without restraint.

Maybe you were hurt and hurt pretty bad. Made to feel like there were parts of you that you needed to hold back on. Don’t hold back on love. I get that it’s hard – but don’t hold back on love.

I want to have an irrepressible joy that ceases to overflow.
I want to have an irrepressible faith that is pushed and tested but never waivers.
I want to have an irrepressible love that can’t be contained.

I want to be irrepressible. I want that for you.

One blog at a time..

Yeah, I got a new blog.

I know right? Whaaat? Like I need another blog, I can barely keep up with this one.

I started a new 365 grateful style project entitled ‘The Best Part‘ and I’m eager to share it with you. Essentially it’s a photo of the moment in my day which I stopped and thought ‘This is the best part of my day’. I’ve got a fancy new iPhone now so hopefully the picture quality will be better and you’ll enjoy a little snapshot into my life.

Go ahead and add www.alittleamour.blogspot.com to your list of blogs to follow. It will at least be more consistent that this old thing.

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Katie-Lou.

Kate Fraser is one of my favourite people. You might recognise that name from various other posts which mention her older sister Laura Swanson (nee Fraser). I met Kate through Laura, was then her youth leader and now we are good and proper friends.

On Tuesday night, I went on a special Valentines Day date with Kate. To be honest, I’m surprised she was free as she’s single handedly the hottest person I know. We both wore red (MATCHING) and ate our dessert before our dinner cos we’re rebellious like that. We talked about family, boys, friends, Hart of Dixie and other important issues. I had a really great time.

Kate is smart, grounded, funny, quirky, sporty, genuine, easy-going and loyal. Oh and did I mention she’s seriously good looking?

This post was basically just to brag about how lucky I am but it’s also to brag about Kate new blog endeavour, Katie-Lou I do Love You. Kate inherits serious blogging skills from her older sister but has her own little unique twist that I super love. I’d be stoked if she posted something new everyday.

Check her and her blog out NOW.

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A Short Note

Hello blog readers!

I’m so happy to announce that there are more than 5 people who read this blog. January proved to be one of the best months I’ve had in terms of consistently higher views that I’ve had since 2009. So just a quick note to say THANKS.

I’ve been trying to put a lot more thought and time into my blog and it’s so hard to blog this consistently without a set theme like travel updates or gorgeous interior design shots and without .. well.. the ability to draw at all. This blog is very personal and it makes me very happy to know people like to read what’s here.

In February you can look forward to the following things.

  • An update on my ‘The Last Single Girl’ list. I’ve crossed a few things off which I’m excited about.
  • My Top Ten Tips for being a better receptionist.
  • Quotes from yours truly.
  • A book review or two.
  • ‘The Hunt for True Love’.
  • More random thoughts, pictures and insight into moi.

Most of the time, I love this blog. It’s been a lovely part of the last 6 years and I’m glad you like it too.

Love,

.Steffany.

Introducing..

I feel like I’ve been waiting for this blog post my entire life, which is why it’s odd that it’s taken me a few weeks to get around to it. Maybe it’s the hype, you’re worried it won’t be as you imagined it would.

Getting onto the point. If you didn’t know that my best friend ever is Tegan Swanborough. Then, let’s be honest, you are pretty stupid. I like to brag about her constantly, so I’m stoked to announce that this babe has a brand spankin new blog.

The best thing about it is that I normally introduce a friends blog.. give them a bit of publicity.. and then they never ever ever post. Tegan has to be the most consistent new blogger that I’ve met. Averaging at least a post a week, you’ll enjoy this blog if you like interior design, arts and crafts, DIY, a giggle or if you simply love and adore all the cute and quirkiness that Tegan Swanborough – then check out My Favourite Colour is SHINY.

Meet Mrs S x and all her goodness now! Go go kids go!

 

VOTE!

Hi blogging friends,

I just entered a cool competition where if I won – I would get the opportunity to be a bit of a travel blogger. Free Stuff For A Year is a competition where the winner of each state gets to participate in random activities for a year and then blog about it. I’d love to have such an awesome opportunity to write and to experience cool and different stuff.

If you’ve ever at any time appreciated this blog – or me, or even if you haven’t. I’d love it if you’d vote for me.

Head here to vote and I’ll love you forever!

http://www.freestuffforayear.com.au/entries/11-01-25/QLD/Steffany

New Year Goals

Look I know it’s mid-January but a girl can still wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR right?

Happy New Year all.

In keeping with the theme I just created out of virtual thin air – here’s my new years resolutions – or goals. Goals seem better for some reason and so for each ‘resolution’ i have something by which it can be measured. A goal without a plan is after all – only a wish. I tried to have one for almost all areas of life.

  1. Get more organised – Use a diary
  2. Get fit – be able to run my current walking route.
  3. Blog once a week – readers can hold me to that one. Essentially it means 50ish posts a year.
  4. Read two books a month – shelfari.com
  5. Complete 5 things off the ‘things to do while I’m still single’ list – a post at the end of the year that shows the 5 things I completed!
  6. Read my bible and journal regularly – have a full journal at the end of year.
  7. Be supportive – have all the same friends and more at the end of the year.
  8. Say yes to good things and no to bad things – be a better a person.

Top Ten Hits

I stole this idea from the lovely Sarah Starrenburg and using WordPress’ stats function found the top ten most viewed posts on my blog since 2008. Some of them are so random that I’m not sure how they made it to the top.. the first two have over 5,000 views on their own. Must be my tagging abilities.

1. All Things Fashion

“As I’ve previously mentioned, I love Chictopia. And I really love one of my ‘favourite chictopians’ Marielle. I noticed her on Chictopia, and then made my way onto her blog. She’s gorgeous and has gorgeous taste in clothes and shoes.”

2. Chronicles of Narnia

“C.S Lewis is amazing. I’m just reading through the Chronicles of Narnia now and I’m really loving it. I’m fairly positve I’ve read all of the stories before, but it’s been such a long time, and I’m really enjoying the re-read.”

3. I Will Exalt You

“I will exalt You, I will exalt You, I will exalt You, You are my God”

4. Friendship

“Friendship is possibly the great thing in the world. Lately I’ve been reminded just how lucky I am.”

5. Diamonds on the soles of her shoes

“Once upon a time a man and lady blinked and then had a baby called Steffany. She grew up and fast and with many bad habits. One of which – was an addiction and love for shoes (and bags, lollies, chocolate and music – but let’s talk about shoes for now)”

6. Favourite

“This is a list of the things that are currently “my favourite” right now.

Favourite Drink: Tea

Favourite Fruit: Oranges”

7. The Last Single Girl

“Recently my friends, namely my best friends, have all gotten boyfriends. And while I’m very happy for them and their insane bliss, it can leave one feeling a little.. well.. unhappy with her current status. I actually enjoy being single, so to remind myself of the fact, I wrote a list. A list of 100 things I’d like to do while I’m still single”

8. Twilight and all that hype

“So I started reading Twilight last night. It’s the first book in the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer. But like you didn’t know that already. I’ve been hearing about Twilight for a while now.. but I’ve been hearing about Edward Cullen for longer what with all the Team”

9. Beauty is

“I like beautiful things. Maybe this makes me shallow but I like them all the same. I like beautiful people but mostly when they are beautiful on the inside, I love perfumes but I love them even more if they come in pretty bottles, jewellery but especially jewellery that sparkles, pretty clothes but I really love gorgeous fabrics, stunning heels and I really don’t care if they are painful, I really love flowers and it’s a bonus if they smell nice.”

10. Stop

“Have you ever stopped and just listened? Right now. Stop. Listen. For me it’s the clittity clattery sound of fingers moving across a keyboard.”

Some of my favourite posts didn’t make it in here, but some did which I am glad for.

Perhaps some day I will do a post on my top ten favourite posts. But I’ve realised that I should never make promises I’m unlikely to keep.

xo

Finish Line

Finish that sentence..

I feel blessed because.. tomorrow is pay day, I’m so grateful for a job that pays me money.

I feel excited about.. my birthday! It’s in 13 days and I’ve got the day off and it’s going to be amazing!

I feel loved when.. people buy or make me gifts! Probably why I’m so excited about my birthday.

I feel hurt if.. I log onto my blog and the stats are at zero. I shouldn’t care about these things but the stats have definitely dropped as of late.

I feel tired because.. I got up early today to have breakfast before work and.. well.. I don’t sleep enough.

I feel peace when.. I’m in the will of God. Sometimes that’s a hard thing to judge, but mostly it’s a gut feeling. Peace is a gut feeling.

I feel challenged about.. the ice-cream I ate today.

I love this image because.. I love the idea of the traditional side of ballet mixed with something random like the beach. Tutu’s and sand don’t normally go together, but that’s why I love it.