In a post I wrote earlier this year I talked about my struggle with writing since starting my new career, which involves writing professionally. I’m still battling this and to be honest, haven’t written anything personal since that post. Website content, scripts, reports, hundreds of captions – YES – but nothing blog worthy.
Last night as I was washing my face I was lamenting about how even after two weeks holidays, I didn’t feel like writing for fun. As I scrubbed the day away I pondered if I would ever get this whole ‘work writing, personal writing’ balance thing that I craved. I was reminiscing back on the old days where I used to write all the time and how I seemed to have all the time in the world to write down my thoughts and share them with people.
The reason I wrote so much then was because I had incredible awful and dull jobs and I wrote to help pass the time. That was where the dream began. It wasn’t anything deeply inspirational. I didn’t have a dream to write since I first learnt to put words together. Funnily enough when I was a kid, I used to dream about answering phones in an office. It wasn’t until I got that type of job out of necessity that I realised how awful it was, for me anyway. Writing was something I could do at my desk that didn’t look like social media. I first wrote because I was bored. I kept writing because I couldn’t stand my job and it gave me an escape. I wrote time and time again because it helped me. Eventually it became my dream.
My dream didn’t start out in an exciting way – it was borne out of a dull situation. I used to dream of the day when I could get paid to write and yet here I was, living the dream and almost longing for the yucky season that birthed the dream.
I guess why I finally picked up the pen again – why I resisted that very clever auto-play Netflix feature and jotted down these simple thoughts was because I thought someone out there might relate.
Perhaps there is someone out there like ‘past me’. Perhaps you are going through what seems to be a meaningless period of life and you might be encouraged to look around you and see what beautiful thing might be hiding in plain sight. You might have thought this season was a waste of time and nothing good could come from it but perhaps there’s a dream or a passion you’re discovering right now. Look for the thing that brings you joy in the midst of a trying time and run with it.
Perhaps there is someone out like the ‘current me’. Perhaps you used to dream of a time when things would be different where one day you might get paid to write or you could look after your children full time. You might be living your dream, something you longed for and never thought was possible, but now for some reason, it’s lost its allure. Don’t be like me and get so busy living your dream you forgot to be amazed by it.
I’m thankful for that challenging season because it gave me a dream. I’m thankful for this season where I get to live my dream and my challenge is balancing work writing and play writing. What a treat that is.